Why Does This Have to Happen to Me?
by lackxofcolor
Summary: Everything bad just seems to be happening to Hermione. She goes into a depression. Draco has changed after his father had died and Voldemort has been defeated. Will he be able to help her?
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: yeah...I don't own Harry Potter...shut up...

A/N this is my first fic so don't hate me if its bad....i'm trying...I swear..and...this first chapter is really actually about Ginny Weasley...so I know it doesn't really have to do with Hermione and Draco...sorry...this chapter will help explain later things. Oh yeah. **This chapter contains rape. DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER IF OFFENDED. It also contains murder. If any of that offends you read the summery at the bottom. **

Chapter 1

Ginny Weasley sat in her bed. It was late on a Thursday night. Harry Potter and Hermione Granger had been at the Burrow for the past 3 weeks. She sat in bed thinking about how Harry Potter...THE Harry Potter had asked her out...and she said "no". Sure, Ginny had loved him since her 1st year, and now was in her 5th, but she had pretty much given up hope around the end of her 4th year. 'Why did I say no?" she thought to herself. She sat pondering that for about an hour when she heard a bang...like the sound of someone coming up stairs...but very un-necessarily loudly. She was jerked out of her thoughts as she saw her door being flung open. She jerked her head up and saw a very pissed off and disgruntled looked Harry standing in her doorway.

"What do you want?" Ginny asked with a slight annoyance in her voice

"You goddamn know what I want and you took it away from me...I swear to God Ginny you will pay" Harry said with a look of vengeance in his eyes.

Ginny was getting scared. Would Harry really hurt her for saying no to him? Harry shut the door quietly as to not wake anyone up. He turned to her and stared at her for a couple seconds, as if deciding what to do. She quickly decided that yes, he really would hurt her for it. She quickly got out of her bed and ran to the window. Harry, took his wand and locked the window. Ginny looked at him panicked. She was really scared now. Why was Harry doing this? It's not like no one else would go out with him.

He was actually good looking. He was tall about 6'1 and muscular...but not too muscular to where it was gross. His long messy black hair actually fit him now and didn't look so...messy...it made him look mysterious, with it covering his eyes. But his looks didn't matter to Ginny, and that pissed Harry off. He knew he was hot and she just didn't care.

Harry slowing made his way over to her. She cowered away from him, finding herself trapped in a corner of the room. Panic rose in her chest. She was really freaking out. Harry put a silencing spell on the room. More panic. 'Oh God...something that is going to be loud? SHIT' She tried to move back more but backed into the wall. Harry put his hands on either side of her head and she looked frantically around praying someone would walk in. Of course, no one did. He lowered his head so his lips were right by her ear.

"You will pay now..."

Her eyes grew wide. ' Oh God, what is he going to do to me?...' A sick smile twisted onto Harry's lips. He planted them on her neck. She squirmed. He didn't care. He moved up to her lips. She let out a whimper. He chuckled. He picked her up and she tried to kick him but he was too strong, her kicks didn't make him stop. Her threw her onto the bed.

"umphh"

He slowly lowered himself over her. He looked her straight in the eyes and somehow...that bothered her even more. He slowly took off her shirt. She was struggling, knowing what was going to happen. He couldn't take it so he just ripped it off. She won't be needing it. She whimpered and he continued to discard her clothing.

"Stop...please..."

He just laughed. Soon she was completely naked. She felt ashamed of herself. So many emotions were running through her mind.

"I'm going to take what you won't give me"

With those words, Harry undid his belt buckle and took off his baggy jeans. He threw his shirt on the floor and took off his boxers. He shoved himself into her, getting a sick satisfaction at the look of horror and pain on her face.

When he shoved himself into her, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't scream. She screwed her eyes closed and let tears fall out of her eyes. It hurt so badly, like she was being ripped in two. It wasn't fair. He was being so stupid. He was putting her through so much pain just because she didn't like him like that anymore. All of a sudden she found her voice and as he plunged into her again she screamed. She screamed and cried and it just wouldn't end. She heard Harry moan when he came in her and she cried even harder.

He looked up at her and smirked. Then he smacked her across the face.

"You think I'm done with you, bitch?!"

"Please Harry...leave me aloneee...please..."

"Ha...yeah right..."

With that he got up and went over to his jeans. He took something out. All Ginny saw was a glimpse of something shining in the light creeping into her room from the moonlight. He walked back over to the bed. He was twirling a...what is that...something ...in between his fingers. With a sudden realization she recognized the object. Her stomach fell. Her heart raced. He had a knife. 'HE'S GOING TO FUCKING KILL ME!!' She cried harder. Her body raking with sobs. 'Why did this have to happen to me!!' He smiled at her. Not a normal smile. An evil, twisted smile. 'What happened to the "Savior of the Magical World"?!' He walked closer to her and looked her in the eyes and said "I love you, Gin" and plunged the knife into her stomach. She gagged and coughed up some blood before she could try to say anything he stabbed her again, this time in the chest. He stabbed her again and again. Soon she lay in the blood soaked sheets dead. A sick satisfaction waved over Harry seeing her like that. Oh God, how she deserved it...

'Now what do I do? Shit....' He looked at the dead body and decided to just bury it. Right...he would take the damn body , bury it some deserted area and he would come back to the Burrow and go to his room and go to sleep.

He picked up her body and left through the window. He walked with the body over his shoulder until he hit about the middle of some woods. He put her down on the ground and conjured up a shovel. He dug her grave and put her in it. He put all the dirt back in and threw a rose on the top of it. (**A/n: How sweet hey?) **He walked back to the Burrow. It was still maybe only 5 in the morning. He walked into the house and up the stairs. Slowly, as to not wake anyone, he made his way to his bedroom. He passed Ginny's and decided to leave the sheets, you know, so her family would know she was dead, so at least they would know she didn't hate them and run away. **(A/n: once again, how thoughtful, eh?) **He walked into his bedroom and laid on the bed. He quickly fell asleep, after all, killing is a strenuous job.

**SUMMERY**

Harry rapes and kills Ginny because he was mad that he wouldn't go out with him.

**A/n: okay...I know morbid...but this will be important to the story. For all the Harry lovers, I'm sorry, I didn't know who else to kill her. Ginny was Hermione's best friend just to clear that up. Review...thanks **

**Alyssa**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter characters or anything...god...shut up...

**A/n: this chapter contains suicide...if you are insulted skip to summery at bottom. Thank you dears. I will make a mark dealy when it comes to that part and when it ends ï**

Hermione Granger woke up late on Friday morning; well to her it was late. It was around 9 in the morning. She grumbled in her sleep as the sunlight poured into her room. She sighed and stretched in her warm, comfy, white, queen sized bed. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and sat for a second adjusting to the light. She slowly opened her eyes a little more and looked around. Her room was a light plum color and she had dark dressers and a dark hard wood floor. She walked over to one of the dressers and pulled out a pair of dark jeans and a plain black t-shirt. She walked over to the linen closet right by her adjoining bathroom and pulled out a fluffy towel. She walked into the bathroom and took a quick shower and got dressed. Then she put some gel in her hair so it wasn't bushy, but curly.

Hermione walked across her room grabbing some socks and shoes and went into Ron's room, right across from hers. She opened the door and peeked in. Ron was lying on his stomach, slightly drooling, and snoring. Hermione smiled to herself. Ron wouldn't be like that for too long.

"RON GET UPPP!!!!"

"Ughhhh...Hermione?...c'mon...lemme sleep..."

"No no no!!! I'm making breakfast and you get to helllppp!!"

"FOOD?! Okay...just because I get to eat..."

Hermione laughed to herself while Ron found some clothes and quickly changed. They headed down the hall and walked past Ginny's door. It was closed, usual, as Ginny slept with her door closed, but it was late for Ginny, she woke up at around 5 each morning, and it was already 9. Ron looked quizzically at Hermione. Hermione shrugged her shoulders.

"GIN!!" Ron screamed pounding on the door, "GIN GET UP!!!"

No answer

"GIN?? ARE YOU IN THERE?!!"

Still no answer. This time Ron opened the door. Hermione stifled back a scream and Ron stood there his mouth agape. All that was in the room was Ginny's furniture, her wand, books, and a very, very bloody bed. 'What the hell...' was going through both of their minds.

"I'm going to get my parents"

Harry woke up to the sound of yelling. 'God damn it Ron...what can you be yelling about this early...' Harry sat up and rubbed his eyes looking for his glasses on his nightstand. All of a sudden, the memories of the previous night came pouring into his mind and he froze. 'Did I really do that? How could I have done that?'

He quickly jumped out of bed and found a white t-shirt and a pair of jeans and ran out of his room. He saw a crying Hermione sitting on the floor in the hallway with her knees brought to her chest.

"Hermione?! What happened?!"

"We can't find Gin anywhere" Hermione managed to get out between sobs.

"Oh...I have to go... take a shower..."

"Okay..."

**A/n: SUICIDE PART SKIP SECTION IF OFFENDED!!!**

Harry ran into his room. He sat on the bed. He pulled out a piece of parchment, a quill, and a bottle of ink. 'Okay...just write what you are thinking...'

_"Dear person who finds this, _

_This is hard for me to do, leave you all, but I had to. I woke up and found Hermione crying on the floor about Ginny. She is the reason I'm doing this, well actually I'm the reason I'm doing this. You are all looking for her, probably you still are. It's my entire fault she's gone. This is hard for me to say, but last night I raped and killed her. I don't know what came over me and it was all for some stupid ass reason, too. When I saw Hermione crying in the hallway I realized that because I took her life when she didn't deserve it, I had to take mine, because I do deserve it, God I deserve it. Well, I'll tell you where she is buried. I buried her right about in the middle of the forest. There should be a rose on her grave. I really did love her...but she didn't love me anymore. I'm such an asshole and idiot and that is why I have to do this. I'm forever sorry about Ginny. I doubt you'll miss me after this; I wouldn't miss me if I were you. I wish I could go back in time and take this all back, but we all know how hard that would be. You'll never know how sorry I am. _

_I'm sorry,_

_Love,_

_Harry Potter"_

With that he folded the paper and put it on the floor right by his door. He walked into his bathroom with tears falling down his face. He grabbed the same knife he used on Gin the night before and sat down on the vanity. He pressed it to the skin on his wrist. He took a deep breath and pushed it down harder and pulled the blade of the knife up his arm. He quickly did the same to the other arm. Soon, Harry Potter, savior of the wizarding world, lie dead on the floor of the Weasley's bathroom.

**A/n: SUICIDE OVERRRRR!!!**

Arthur and Molly Weasley ran up the stairs. Where was their daughter? Where was Harry? Ron and Hermione where sitting on the floor of the hallway by Harry's room with a piece of parchment in their hands. Hermione was shaking uncontrollably and Ron was staring blankly at the wall. The Weasley parents ran over to them asking what happened. Ron put his arm out with the parchment in it while the parents read it over.

_Dear person who finds this, _

_This is hard for me to do, leave you all, but I had to. I woke up and found Hermione crying on the floor about Ginny. She is the reason I'm doing this, well actually I'm the reason I'm doing this. You are all looking for her, probably you still are. It's my entire fault she's gone. This is hard for me to say, but last night I raped and killed her. I don't know what came over me and it was all for some stupid ass reason, too. When I saw Hermione crying in the hallway I realized that because I took her life when she didn't deserve it, I had to take mine, because I do deserve it, God I deserve it. Well, I'll tell you where she is buried. I buried her right about in the middle of the forest. There should be a rose on her grave. I really did love her...but she didn't love me anymore. I'm such an asshole and idiot and that is why I have to do this. I'm forever sorry about Ginny. I doubt you'll miss me after this; I wouldn't miss me if I were you. I wish I could go back in time and take this all back, but we all know how hard that would be. You'll never know how sorry I am. _

_I'm sorry,_

_Love,_

_Harry Potter_

Panic rose in Molly and Arthur's chests. Molly was sobbing at the loss of her daughter and how she had to die and, surprisingly, she was sad Harry was dead, too. It was like 2 family members died. Arthur pushed the door open and looked around. He didn't see Harry's body. Then his eyes landed on the bathroom door. He walked over to it and pushed it open. There they all saw Harry lying on the floor of the bathroom with fresh cuts up and down his arms with blood puddle-ing around him. Arthur ran over to him. He looked for a pulse. There was none.

"He's dead..."

**A/n: okay so Harry killed himself cuz he felt reallllyyy guilty. Hmmm....I made the first two chapters today and I'm really tired. Its 3:10 am here. Whoa...well I should be getting to bed. Okay...it was morbid. This adds to the pain Hermione will be feeling that will , in turn, lead her to our Draco. Reviews would be veryyyy appreciated. Thank you!!**

**Love**

**Alyssa**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter characters.

**A/n: oh God...I don't really know what's gonna be in this chapter...kinda just...writing what comes up. I don't think anything too bad will happen. One, MAYBE two more bad things will happen to Hermione...but I'm not really sure yet. I know one of them will happen before they go back to school. I'm not sure about the other. Probably will happen before. I got some reviews from my e-mail, but they weren't on the "review" page yet. THANK YOU GUYS!!! They were so nice...haha well here's the story and I'm done rambling.** **God, it's really hot in my house...sorry...**

****

Chapter 3

It was a week later. In two hours, it would be Ginny's funeral. Harry's would be tomorrow. She hoped she could handle her two best friend's funerals in two days, which would be hard for her. Hermione was still staying with the Weasley's, they insisted. She sat motionless on her bed in her room. She didn't think she would be able to make a speech about Ginny. Sure, she and Ginny had been best friends and she knew Ginny better than pretty much anyone else, but she missed her so much...she didn't think she could handle it.

Hermione walked over to her closet. She picked out a black dress that had a wide v-neck and came down to her knees. She grabbed a pair of black strappy sandals and put them on. She walked into the bathroom and grabbed a hair-straighten-er and a quickly straightened her hair. She wanted it to be curly, not bushy, so she had to straighten in and then curl it. She put on a little black eyeliner and black mascara. She looked very pale so she grabbed some blush. She looked in the mirror and sighed. Sure, she looked good, but she didn't feel like looking good inside, she felt like shit, so shouldn't she look like it? Oh, well.

She walked out of her room to meet Ron in the hall. She gave him a sad smile and they linked arms. Ron looked nice. He was wearing a white dress shirt with a black tie and black dress pants with a black suit coat. Ron was tall and lanky, about 6'4. He had longish red hair that always fell in his face and light blue eyes. He had a few freckles on his nose, just like Ginny did.

Anyways, the funeral was in an hour and it took about 30 minutes to get to the place so they had to leave. Once they got there, there where a ton of people outside. 'All these people are here for her...' They all looked the same to Hermione. They all gave the same sad smile and wore the same black dress or suit. Hermione didn't really care. She had to think of what to say about Ginny. There was a lot. Hermione sighed and followed the Weasley's into the little church. She sat beside Fred, or was it George...she didn't think about it. She had to give her speech in a couple minutes. The pastor walked to the front of the church and went on about the usual funeral stuff. **(A/n: I don't really know what they say, I've only been to like 3...and I think they all said different stuff...)**

Before she knew it, she had to go up there. She sighed and stood up. She walked to the front of the church and looked around. There were a lot of people from school there, most from her own house, but some from others. She started.

_"I don't really know what to say. Ginny was my best friend. I have other friends, but none like her. She was probably the nicest, sweetest, most beautiful person I've ever known. When she would smile, it would make you smile. She was always happy, but there was the occasional time when she would get mad, then you wanted to be out of her way, she usually only got mad at her brothers...ha and even then she really wasn't too mad. I think that she really cared more about other people than she did herself, and really that made her happy. She loved to hear me ramble on about my problems, she just loved to listen. And she was smart. She always knew the answer to a question about potions. She really loved potions. What else...I don't know, I loved Ginny, and she was a great person who always could make me smile. I loved her for that. _Hermione gave a sad smile and looked around. Everyone was intently listening to her, which kind of freaked her out but made her happy. _I miss her and would give anything to have her back. She is someone who I know would have done something amazing for the world. Thank you."_

Hermione walked down from the podium crying. She missed her so much. She sat next to...yes it was Fred, and he gave her a hug. About 5 more people got up to speak. Before she knew it, it was over. She walked up the coffin and looked in. Ginny laid there looking so peaceful. Her dark red hair was spread out a little and her skin was very pale. She had some light pink, almost clear, lip gloss on. Hermione lay a picture of them of when they were sitting by a tree by the lake at Hogwarts, they were laughing and throwing leaves around, next to Ginny in the coffin.

"Bye Gin, I love you and miss you..."

And with that she walked away. 'How can I deal with Harry's funeral tomorrow?' She sighed and sat outside under a tree waiting for it to be time to bury her. Soon Ron, Mr. Weasley, Fred, George, Bill, and Charlie walked out carrying her coffin and put it in the back of the Hers. **(A/n: spelling!! I meant the things that carry the coffin to the grave, ya know...?) **

When they got to the cemetery, they buried her and everyone there but a rose on her coffin before they covered it up again. When they covered it up, Hermione laid a few extra roses on top.

Back at the Weasley house, Hermione told everyone she was tired and went to bed. She would have a long, hard day tomorrow, too. She walked into her room and took off the dress and hung it up in her closet. She un-strapped her sandals and threw them on the ground. She grabbed a pair of black pajama bottoms and a white wife-beater tank top undershirt. She put them on and made her way over to her bed. She lay down, but sleep wouldn't come to her. She thought about all the shit that had happened to her the past few weeks and started to silently cry. Soon, she had cried herself to sleep.

The next morning Hermione woke up with slightly puffy eyes. She grabbed another black dress out of her closet, this one a little longer and had a boat-neck on it. She walked to the linen closet and grabbed a towel. She took a quick shower and straightened her hair. Harry liked it straight. She threw on her dress and headed downstairs.

Ron looked horrible, not like he was dressed badly, but the look on his face...it was torture to look at it. Harry was Ron's best friend. He probably missed him more than Ginny, and Ginny was his only sister. Hermione would probably speak at this funeral too, but Ron would be the first to. She gave Ron a small, sad smile. 'I'm just like all the people at Ginny's funeral, what else do you do though?' Not all the Weasley's were coming to Harry's funeral, it was a Monday and they all had to work except Arthur, Molly, and Ron. Hermione would be going to of course.

Once they got to the funeral, it was pretty much the same as Ginny's. A lot of the same people were there. They went in and got a seat in the front row. The funeral started and soon it was time for Ron to speak. It was short and to the point, how he and Harry had so much fun together, all the good things about him, never mentioning once what he did to Ginny. That was pretty noble of Ron, she guessed. Next, it was Hermione's turn.

_"Harry and I were close, not as close as Ron and Harry, but close. At school we were called the 'Golden Trio' or things like that. _ _Harry like to help people, he liked to be a hero I guess, not in a bad way. He was serious, obviously not as serious as I was, about schoolwork, but he would try. Numerous times at one in the morning Harry and Ron would come to me for answers to something on an essay. Harry did do some things that I probably can't forgive him for, but I'll try. He is dead because he felt so guilty about killing Ginny that he felt that he needed to take his own life to make up for taking hers. That, in a way, is noble of him to do. Don't remember Harry as a killer, but the guy he always was, the funny, smart, nice person he was. It's sad what happened to Harry and I love him and I miss him so much...Thank you."_

Hermione was the last one to speak. Nobody else really knew what to say. The rest of the funeral followed on like Ginny's.

They got home and most of them went to bed, except Ron who sat in the living room staring at the fire, lost in thought. Hermione climbed into bed thinking, once again about all that has happened. She sighed and finally fell asleep.

**A/n: okay...that was boring I think...I don't really know...its 2:25 am and I hope it was too ramble...y...if that's a word...umm...yeah that's not all that's gonna happen to poor Hermione. We'll get to that later. I think it might seem that too much bad stuff is happening to her too fast, but it's a story right? I'm trying....review please...don't be too mean about this chapter...haha oh well**

**Love,**

**Alyssa**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter....okay...?

**A/n: hey guys!! Yeah, yeah I haven't updated in a while, don't hate me...ï umm...I had a bunch of people over for a while and well, it was my birthday on Aug. 22nd so I had MORE people over...It's been crazy. Um....We have a Draco chapter now so...okay well let's get on with it right? Okay here we go...it's hot in my house again...God...Oh!! And this chapter might seem boring but it does explain a lot and another thing that happened to Hermione is talked about while explaining stuff about Draco's true feelings...so yeah...only one more bad thing will happen to Hermione. And that will probably happen in like...the next chapter or two. Okay!! I hope you like it!!!**

Draco was being pulled out of sleep at, what to him, was an ungodly hour. At first he thought he was dreaming, you know one of those dreams where someone is calling you in real life but you think it's in your dream? Well anyways, Draco woke up in his queen-sized bed with light pouring into his room. He squinted one eye open and saw his mother's form by the window before snapping his eyes shut again, God it was so bright in the room. He groaned and rubbed his eyes, trying to adjust to the sudden change in light.

"What are you- what are you doing?" Draco asked groggily.

"What do you mean 'what am I doing?'? You have to get up. It's almost 9 o'clock and we have to go shopping for your school supplies," his mother answered him like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You have to get ready. Draco!! Now!! Don't lie back down!! Draco I swear..."

During that little speech, Draco thought it would be nice to have a nice little nap. He heard his mother yelling at him and didn't care until she put his puppy on the bed. Of course, it being a puppy, got overly excited and jumped on Draco's stomach and started licking his face uncontrollably.

"Ugh...mother...fine you win..."

"Great. We're leaving in 45 minutes. Hurry up"

And with that he left the room. Draco sat up and thought about the day before. He didn't really know what day of the week it was. It was summer, right? Who keeps track of days in summer? Certainly not Draco Malfoy. He stretched his arms out in front of him and looked down at his left arm. If his father had not died, that arm would be marked. Draco cringed at the thought of getting the Dark Mark. Sure, most Slytherin's couldn't wait to get the Dark Mark, but not Draco. He had always hated the idea of getting it and having to do everything some old man told you to do. He hated how they would just kill people for fun. He hated how the Death Eaters believed that they were above everything and everyone else. Draco didn't hate Muggle-borns and Muggles like the Death Eaters did. To him, they were just more people. But, don't get me wrong, just because he didn't hate Muggles, he did hate Harry Potter. Why did he hate Harry Potter? Harry Potter was the whole reason his father would beat him. If he didn't treat Potter badly enough, he would get beaten. If he didn't call Granger a mud blood enough, he would get beaten. If he called Granger a mud blood and got himself hurt by Potter, he would get beaten. If he didn't do something bad to Potter enough, he would get beaten, plain and simple. The Weasley boy would get on Draco's nerves, but Draco didn't nearly hate him as much as he hated Potter. Granger, Granger was a completely different story than both Potter and Weasley. He respected Granger. She was smart and he knew it. Sure, he would like to say she cheated or lied, but he knew she didn't. He didn't hate her for it either. His father did. His father's words rang through his head.

'Draco!! How could you let that stupid mud blood be ahead of you!!! I thought you were better than that!!!'

It wasn't fair how his father automatically assumed that Draco had to be better than everyone else. It all came back to 'Granger is a mud blood and you are a pureblood'. Draco never thought that was fair. Maybe she was just smarter than him. Maybe she tried harder or cared more. Sure, Draco should have cared, it would have saved him a lot of scars and nights being cleaned up and bandaged by his mother and house elves, but he didn't care. He knew his father was wrong, and he didn't care. His mother knew his father was wrong, but she couldn't stop him. If she tried, she would get beaten, too. Draco couldn't put his mother through that. He had to stand up to his father.

About a year ago, Draco had stopped fearing his father. That made Lucius Malfoy furious that his son no longer feared him. When Draco was at home, and even sometimes at school, his father would show up and beat the shit out of him, for no reason. Draco hardly even groaned in pain when his father beat him anymore. His father didn't deserve the satisfaction to know how much he hurt his son. Not only physically, but emotionally. Draco had a father who hated him, who only had him so the Malfoy name could go on. Draco took that out on his schoolmates. He put up a barrier around him he was sure he would never break down. Maybe he would now, a little bit, that his father and Voldemort were dead.

Draco thought of what would have happened if you didn't have to be a certain age to get the Mark. He probably would have gotten it right away. It was sort of like a prerequisite to being a Malfoy. If he had gotten it, he would be dead right now with all the other stupid Death Eaters who had the Mark. Maybe he wouldn't be dead, but greatly hurt, like Severus Snape. He had the Mark, but for some reason he didn't die. Dumbledore said it was because he didn't truly believe all of that stuff. 'I wouldn't have died, but not having it sure saved me a lot of time.'

Draco decided that he would have to say sorry to Granger and Weasley on the Hogwart's Express. That would be only fair, right? After all, Potter had killed himself, along with Granger's best friend and Weasley's little sister.

Draco kept thinking about Granger. He REALLY needed to say sorry to her. So much stuff had happened to her. Ginny getting killed, Potter killing himself, and her parents dying. (**A/n incase you didn't know that is the thing that happened to Hermione that we didn't cover!)** He sort of cringed when he thought about her parents' death. It was his father's fault. Entirely. If his father hadn't been such a jealous prick about Hermione actually being better at something than his son, they wouldn't be dead. His father planned a Death Eater raid on the Granger household because 'their daughter thought she was better than us'. Whatever, Draco knew it was because he thought that by killing Granger's parents, she would become weakened or something and not study so much. Lucius's plan backfired. Hermione studied three times as hard to keep herself from thinking about her parents. Therefore, she did about 5 times better than Draco.

"DRACO!!! Are you getting ready?! I haven't heard any movement up there! Come ON!!"

Draco was jolted out of his thought and realized he had been thinking for at least 15 minutes. He jumped out of bed and grabbed a pain of baggy dark denim jeans and a black t-shirt, not faded, Draco Malfoy did not wear faded. He grabbed a fluffy black towel and took a quick shower. He got dressed and put some gel in his hair to make it look kind of messy. He grabbed some socks and shoes and ran down the stairs to his mother who was standing there tapping her foot with an eyebrow raised.

"What took you so long, Drake?"

"I was thinking...lost track of time.."

"Thinking about...?"

"Nothing...just...father...and stuff"

"Oh..."

Draco was glad he had his mother. His mother always tried to alter what his father had taught him. It was because of her he didn't believe all that stuff his father said. He had always known she was right. Now, Draco could express himself, he could never do that while his father was there.

After they arrived at Diagon Alley, they bought Draco new robes, a new cauldron, quills, ink, potions ingredients, and everything else that he needed for the new school year. They went to get some butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. Draco didn't really see anyone there that were his friends. They had all pretended to be his friend when his father was powerful, but now, they pretty much ignored him. Draco saw the Weasley family, who it appeared, had adopted Hermione or something. He didn't say anything to them. It looked like Ron had some other girl with him. Lavender Brown he figured out. Hermione looked like she was either pissed or left out. He guessed left out. He felt guilty and sympathetic toward her. Guilty, because of all the things he had done to her in the past, that were unjust, and sympathetic, because it appeared, that like him, she didn't have any friends. If only he had the guts to go talk to her. Even though Weasley seemed to be ignoring her and giving every ounce of attention to the girl clinging to him, he probably would kill Draco for coming near the group of people. Oh well, maybe she'll be alone on the train.

**A/n: there is chapter 4. I dunno, it might have been kinda boring with all the explaining or whatever, but it wasn't that bad...was it? Review and tell me please...that would be soooo great. GOD it is hot in my house STILL...haha okay well review and...I'll write. I have a lot of stuff going on this week, like, on the 25th I have some thing for school and then I'm going on a trip with my sister and two friends until Friday and today is...Monday, so I don't know if I'll be updating this week. Don't be mad...or too happy...or whatever...thank you for the reviews I've gotten!!**

**Love,  
Alyssa**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: shut up**

**A/N: holy shit I haven't updated in like a month. Eek...sorry. I feel bad. Haha. Well I'm sitting here trying to think up what this chapter is about. I don't think anything toooooo bad is gonna happen. Probably mostly talking and stuff. Alrighty then. Let's get onnn with the story, eh? Hhaha I love Canada...I wish I lived there....i'm listening to death cab...getting in an emo mood to write an emo story. Oh man...haha cries acts emo whatever...**

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Hermione woke up. It was pretty early. About 8:30. She woke up and looked around. Same walls. Same windows. Same view. Same horrible emotions. Same...everything. Oh, how she wanted life to change for her. It wasn't fair. What did she do to deserve a life like this? She sighed and got out of bed. She headed to her bathroom after grabbing a towel and a change of clothes. She went in the bathroom and stripped her clothes off. She got in the shower and adjusted the temperature of the water. She loved the shower. Just for those few precious moments, you forgot about all that shit in your life. All you felt was the water hitting you. No pain... She knew that feeling wouldn't last. In some sick way, she wanted pain. A lot. She couldn't hurt herself though. No, she couldn't. Every time she tried, she thought of Harry. She couldn't do what he did. No way. She hated him, but she still loved him. She hated him so much for killing his best friend. She loved him though, they were best friends. She was so damn confused.

She sighed as the bliss of the shower ended. She stepped out of the shower and put on her clothes and got ready. Today they were going to Diagon Alley to get school supplies. Hurray. It wasn't all that bad, at least there would be a different view, right?

She walked downstairs. There was Ron...and Lavender? What the hell was she doing here?

"Hermione! You'll never guess! I talked to Lavender at Harry's funeral and we're going out!! Isn't that great?!" Ron yelled the second Hermione was downstairs.

'How the hell could he have possibly picked up a girlfriend at a _funeral_? "Oh yes Ron, wonderful" Hermione said sarcastically, though neither of them noticed the sarcasm.

"Great!! She's coming shopping with us today!! Isn't that great!!??" Ron said excitedly.

Hermione had never really liked Lavender, she was too...happy and bouncy and girly.

"Yes Ron, wonderful", Hermione told him with a fake smile plastered on her face. They were so unaware of everything.

Hermione ate her breakfast and then they were going to leave. In about 45minutes they were in Diagon Alley. Hermione had snapped at Lavender in the car so Lavender was scared to talk to Hermione, therefore gripping to Ron's arm for moral support.

Hermione walked silently with the family. She felt unbelievably left out. Ron had his girlfriend, Ginny obviously wasn't with them, Harry wasn't, and what sort of conversation would she have with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley? She wanted to leave. She had to get away from them.

"Uh...you guys, I'm gonna go...look at...some books...or something...yeah..,", Hermione said uncertainly.

"Okay Hermione!"

No time to be back, nothing. Whatever, might as well just stay here. Then I can be alone...

"Actually, you guys, I think I'm going to stay here the remainder of the summer...I need to be alone...sorry"

"Oh, Hermione dear...if that's what you really want...I guess I can't say no..." Mrs. Weasley said with a look of worry on her face.

"Thanks, I appreciate that."

She quickly walked to the Three Broomsticks and went to the shopkeeper and got a room.

She sat down and none other than Draco Malfoy walked in.

Draco was just about to leave when she saw Hermione leave the group of people. When she left, the group just went on about their business, not really looking like they cared...maybe a little, Mrs. Weasley...other than that...nope. He silently followed her to the Three Broomsticks. He waited outside a couple of minutes and walked in. He spotted her, and it appeared as she had spotted him, from the look of horror on her face. He had to change that. When he saw it, it made him feel worse... if that was possible...

Draco took a deep breath and gathered as much courage that there was left in him and walked over to her. A look of shock crossed her face. He arrived at her table and looked at her.

"Uh...Malfoy...what are you doing...?"

"I need to talk to you abo-"

"About what Malfoy? About how I'm a dirty mudblood? I'm NOT in the mood right now, okay?"

"NO! No I swear..."

She looked skeptical. Veryyy skeptical. "Uh...okay...I think..."

A smile spread on his face. A real smile. He sat down. "Okay...you're probably not going to want to hear this...but you have to let me say it. None of what I'm saying is a lie."

Right then Draco told Hermione his story. His father, beatings, Death Eaters, mother, how sorry he was, how unfair it is, how everything is, how it was his fault that her parents died because he wasn't good enough, how he was so sorry about Ginny and Harry...everything.

He had been wringing his hands and staring at them the entire time. He glanced up at Hermione. She was a little more pale than usual...and...are those tears? Holy shit, I made her cry...

"Oh God Hermione, I didn't mean to make you cry..."

"You actually CARE about me?"

" I sort of always did...I hate my father...he fucked up my entire life...its not fair...to anyone...I ruined so many god damned lives..."

By that time, Draco was also silently crying. Long kept in emotions came pouring out with the silent tears.

"Hermione...tell me what happened to you. I know most of it. Tell me..."

She didn't hesitate. She felt like she trusted him. Why? God only knows. She told him how she wanted pain, but couldn't have it, she told him how she missed Ginny so much she wanted to die just to be with her, she told him how infantile Ron is, how much she missed her parents and their stupid ranting about teeth, she told him how lonely she was now, how God damned lonely she was.

"I don't know Draco, that's it. Your story...was so much...worse."

" How can you say that? You lost everyone in your life. What the hell...how can we even compare them. They were both horrible"

"Hey Draco...?"

"hmm?"

"Thanks for talking to me. I haven't told anyone how I feel. No one but you. I feel a little better. I guess I haven't told anyone because I have no one to tell...I don't know..." She took a deep breath and reached over the table and hugged him. He was bewildered.

The only thing going through Hermione's mind then was 'Why the hell do you trust him?

_'Because he's gone through the same shit you have...he trusts me.'_

"Uh...I gotta go Hermione. My mom is waiting for me. I'll talk to you on the train, okay?"

"Okay...thanks for telling me all that. It was nice talking to you" Hermione gave him a smile. A real smile, something she hasn't done for quit a long time.

When Hermione smiled at him, he felt happy. _He_ had made her smile.

"See you on the train"

**A/n: for God's sake...I haven't updated in like 90454305 years and then the end of this one sucked. DAMN IT. I'm sorry. Don't hate me...alrighty everyone review cuz that would be totally punk rock man...haha...whatever...just review...its not that hard...thanks! 867-5309...867-5309 I got it I got it...I got your number on the wallll...sorry...just slipped into a song. Oh well...**

**Love,**

**Alyssa**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Disclaimer: ...we've covered this...come on...

**A/n: o my god...I haven't updated in a million and a half years again...oops...ï oh well.....um I'm actually still thinking (right now while I am writing this very word) what this chapter will be about. I have a couple ideas. Wait...okay I chose which one I'm going to use!! YAY!!! Welll I hope you enjoy it....:-/ okay talk to you dudes at the end of the chapter, eh?**

**OH YEAH!! THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS!! THEY MAKE ME HAPPY!!!**

**All the cool kids who reviewed know who they are...so THANK YOU!!!!**

Hermione couldn't believe what had just happened. She got into a CIVIL conversation with none other than Draco Malfoy. She felt horrible for him. He had to go through so much shit. _So have you._ She had, but she didn't want to feel sorry for herself.

A couple minutes after she had started thinking she was quit rudely interrupted by someone slamming their fist on her table, almost knocking over her drink.

"What the fu..." She stopped her sentence when she looked up and saw Ron.

"Sorry Ron, what's up?"

"What the HELL do you mean, 'what's up?'?" He said with a slight snarl in his voice. "Associating with a _Malfoy_?!" He lowered his voice at the word "Malfoy", as it was as forbidden as the name "Voldemort".

_Oh shit...he saw! How am I going to explain myself without telling him Draco's secret?! _

"Ron he just came to tell me a few things," she answered calmly.

"LIKE HELL HE DID!!!"

"RON! What do you want me to say?! I told you the truth!!!"

"Whatever, Hermione. You know what, forget you. Obviously you don't miss Harry or Gin that much if you just go and ditch me to hang with Malfoy." Ron said venomously.

"Ronald Weasley...who the HELL gives you the right to say that?! YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!! I can't believe you, and to say _I_ ditched _you_?! You ditched me to hang out with your slut!"

By then, people were crowding around. Hermione had to get the last word.

"Fuck you Ronald Weasley. You have no idea how I feel, nor do you give a fuck. I don't need to talk to you anymore." With that, she walked right out of the Three Broomsticks. Ron looked as if he had been slapped in the face. He didn't know she had it in her. _What the FUCK is wrong with her?! I was just looking out for her. Since when does SHE like MALFOY?! You know what? Forget her!! I don't need her!!! She'll probably just come crawling back to me anyways. _Ron realized he had been standing there for at least a minute and most have looked like an idiot **(A/n: as if he isn't...)** He wheeled around and strode to the door, trying to act as if he was unaffected by Hermione's outburst.

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Hermione ran out of the Three Broomsticks in tears. She ran into an alley and just screamed. She needed to let it out. Screaming seemed to be the only way to. She leaned on the wall and sank onto the floor, tears streaming down her face._ He has no idea, NO IDEA!!_ Of course, the one time Hermione forgets to do something is when she's screaming her lungs out in an old alley.

Draco Malfoy must have heard her. _Shit...Do I really mean shit? I am I happy he came? _She tried to wipe her tears away and smooth her hair out. I didn't work. She kept crying and her hair was as fuzzy as ever.

"What...what's wrong?" Draco said when he saw Hermione sitting on the ground. He crouched down in front of her and took her hand. She flinched.

"What happened Hermione?"

"...Ron"

"What about Weasley?"

"He saw me and you together in the Three Broomsticks and he freaked out. He said that I must not have missed Harry and Ginny if I ditch him to go and hang out with you. He has no idea Draco...no idea..."

:"Oh God...I'm so sorry Hermione. This is my entire fault." His head dropped as he said that.

"No way Draco. I've only been friends with you for an hour and I know you are a better one then he ever was." She smiled at him and he lifted his head up.

"Really?"  
"Yeah, really"

He smiled and stood up. He held out his hand to help her up. She grasped it and he pulled her up. _He's really strong _

"Thanks Draco"

"No problem" He pulled her into a hug. She held onto him, putting her head by where his shoulder and neck meet.

Draco felt some warm and wet on his neck. She was crying again. He held her tighter. That didn't help. She started crying harder. _Oh man...what do I do? _

"Hermione...I'm sorry"

She still wouldn't let go of him.

"No...It's not your fault. I'm sorry for crying on you. I haven't cried about them since Ginny's funeral. "

He was shocked. That was almost 3 months ago, the beginning of summer. **(A/n: if that's not when they were, that's what it is now...It's kinda to prove how strong/stubborn she is)** She nuzzled her head more onto his shoulder. He put his arms around her again.

"Thanks Draco" said Hermione, her voice being muffled by Draco's shoulder.

"No problem" He smiled and brought his head down to rest on her shoulder. They stood like that for a couple minutes before Draco sighed and said that his mother is probably going to kill him by now. Hermione smiled and laughed a little, both being slightly hard seeing as that she had just been crying. She dropped her arms from around him and smiled.   
"Thanks Draco...this probably sounds stupid, but I don't know what I would have done without you..."

He smiled and hugged her again. When he pulled away Hermione looked up at his face. She took a deep breath a rose her head a little. Draco knew what was happening so he lowered his head, just a fraction of an inch. Hermione kissed him. Hermione "Mudblood" Granger just kissed Draco Malfoy. She quickly pulled away looking at the ground.

"I...I'm sorry...I..."

"It's okay..." He put his hand under her chin and lifted her head up. He smiled and kissed her again. He felt her smile. He ran his tongue across her bottom lip. She hesitated and then let him in. His tongue explored her mouth. She let out a small moan and put her arms around his neck, bringing him closer. He smiled and slowly pulled away. Their foreheads connected as they caught their breath.

Draco looked her in the eyes before saying

"Haha...yeah it's okay"

**A/n: OMG ITS SHORT I KNOW!! I couldn't think of anything to write. Oh my god don't hate me!!! Ahhhh...review tell me if it was good....some of it seemed kinda cheesy...but like...it's a story...but that is not an excuse. Eek sorry. Anyways, review. That would be greatly appreciated. And if you like my story, will inspire me to write faster. Haha thanks guys!!  
love, **

**Alyssa!!!**


	7. author's note people

Author's note:

Alright. This is for all the people that sent me the reviews saying " your story sucks, characters are totally OOC." You know what; I'm NOT FORCING YOU TO READ MY STORY! And the POINT of a fanfiction story is to make the characters how ever the hell I want to. I've gotten plenty of reviews saying they like my story. I DON'T need your shit. I thank the people that have reviewed with positive things to say. If you don't like my story, don't fuckin read it. Okay? Okay. I got 4 reviews since yesterday, and 3 of them were negative. I haven't got one negative review since I started this story except yesterday. I don't need your "I hate your story, it sucks" reviews taking up my email space. Let's see here. The 3 of you who this is for is..."meheehee", "dracosbitch" mmmhm right...and last but not least of course "lesbian lover" wow. Well to all of you, thanks. I'll take your "advice" and try to use it, but you could have put it better than "your story sucks" I do recall "dracosbitch" telling me that I ramble, yet mentioned "your story sucks" multiple times. I also recall "meheehee" telling me that I don't know what the word "prose" means and to look it up in a dictionary, but the word dictionary is too big of a word for me. Well "meheehee" if you are reading this you will be sorely disappointed that I do what prose means. It means the ordinary wording people use while writing, or speaking for that matter. Sorry. I'm sorry to all the other people who had to read this. For everyone who gave me positive feedback, I will update again. To those who gave negative, at least the ones telling me not to update, you don't have to read it.

Thank you,

Alyssa


	8. AN2 OMG IM SORRY

OMG I swear this is like the last authors note. I feel all bad about it. But I feel it REALLY necessary. The person lesbian lover, I got your "review" and I seriously didn't mean to offend your sexuality. I like gay people...I think they're totally cool and everything. Okay well...I just wanted to get that out of the way cuz I did NOT mean to offend you like that. I didn't start writing these stories to get in fights with people. I was just gonna email you back but I couldn't find your thing or whatever, so I'm calling truce. If you don't want it...your choice. I don't to "be in a fight" over a stupid story on the internet. Haha. Well....hopefully you're not pissed. And that goes for the rest of you people that sent me flames....:)

Love

Alyssa


	9. Chatper 7

**Chapter 7**

**A/n: okay…well I have two ideas right now. One is to keep the story how its going, one is to have it be like something was wrong with Hermione after the war with Voldemort and she was in a coma and it was all a dream, but her and Draco will still get together. I think the second idea will make the story longer, and also make some people who say that the chars. are too OOC and stuff. Hmmmm…I'll make two super short chapters and then you guys review and tell me what you think. We'll start with the "it's all going on the same" and end with the coma one.**

Chapter 7: part 1

Draco took one last look back at Hermione before leaving to find his mother. Sure, Draco didn't care about the whole "blood" thing, but still…what would people think if they found out? Would no one in his house talk to him anymore? It wasn't as if they were his friends because they liked him anyway, it all had to do with his father and his "status" with the Dark Lord. The only one he thought that was really his friend was Blaise Zabini. **(A/n: I've seen it spelled Zambini and Zabini, I thought it was the second, tell me if it is or not! Oh and Blaise is a boy in this story, I've seen it both ways.) **Draco and Blaise had been good friends since they were born. They did pretty much everything together, you could say they were "best friends" but neither of them would ever admit it, it was too girly. Anyways, Draco didn't think he cared. He didn't care what the rest of his house said, and he only kind of cared what Blaise thought. He really liked Hermione, he hardly ever really liked a girl, and if he did, she would never find out, no one would. She knew he liked her; she was too smart to not know. 'Does she feel the same' he pondered as he ran into his mother.

"Where _were _you?! I told you to meet me over a half _hour_ ago!!!" His mother said with an edge to her voice

"Sorry…I got caught up with someone", Draco said not really paying attention to his mother's bickering.

"Well…" he stopped listening. He knew she was still going on about it, so he randomly shook his head yes or no and mumbled an "okay" once in a while. She seemed to buy it.

His thoughts were too caught up with Hermione

**A/n: so that's the first option, it continues like that or the other way which you'll see in a moment!!!**

Chapter 7: part 2

Hermione woke up with a start. All she saw were bright lights hovering above her. She started to make out the shape of two people standing over her bed.

'What is going _on...' _ she thought. She lifted her arms up. They felt like lead. She slowly rubbed her eyes. She saw Ron and Harry standing over her. _'Harry!?! What the hell is going on?!' _

"Hermione?!" One of the two said.

"Ughh…huh…?" _'Why can't I speak properly?!'_

All of a sudden Draco came into her thoughts. What is going on? Why is _Harry_ here? Why is Ron talking to me?

Hermione cleared her throat. Her voice was still a little groggy sounding. "Where's…Draco…?"

"Where's _who_?"

She opened her eyes. Everything came in clearly. Ginny was asleep in the chair, Ron was standing over her, and Harry was sitting on the bed, holding her hand. She pulled her hand out of Harry's and shoved herself up in her bed, to a sitting position.

"_What _is going on?!"

"Hermione, you were hit with a spell during the war. You've been in a coma for 4 months"

Hermione just stared at them. _'The whole thing with Draco was a dream? Shouldn't I be happy? Is that what he's really like?' _ Thoughts were swimming in her head.

"Uhh…Gin, can I talk to you…alone?"

"Sure…?"

Hermione looked up at Harry and Ron and they left. Ginny walked over to Hermione's bed.

"What's up 'Mione?

"I had this dream..."

Hermione told her the whole dream, starting with Ginny's death and ending with her and Draco's kiss.

Ginny looked shocked.

"I…I don't know what to say"

**A/n: okay so those, my friends, are the choices. Which ever one you guys pick I will pick up the story from. I'm addicted to My Chemical Romance. AHH! 3**

**Love,**

**Alyssa!!!**


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